I just sat on my back porch in the sun (warm!) for almost an hour and a half. Then came inside and made a quesadilla with (gluten-free!) whole-grain wrap, (casein-free!) cheddar cheese, red pepper and oregano. Tasty. I still don't trust the weather not to revert back to its frozen ways, but today is gorgeous and warm. I may have actually gotten a little color from it, and my body thoroughly unchilled. It felt good.
Two of the girls from work and I went to see Sherlock Holmes at the downtown theater last night. There's a doorman, footmen, and someone playing the piano in the lobby. The theater itself is old, and wide, with a balcony (not open, alas) and crazy Rococo-Greek-Mycenaean-Victorian gold and white decor. The screen up front is slightly smaller than in a normal movie theater - or perhaps it just seems that way because it's smaller then the stage, and bordered by draping curtains. I love the atmosphere in that place. And the movie was fun. Good action, pretty explosions, witty repartee, great character interactions, and curious science. I wasn't expecting anything in particular, and was pleased. I must say that although I imagined a slightly more emaciated Sherlock with a thin, bony nose, Robert Downey's got the feel down wonderfully. I believe him as a Sherlock. And the Watson-Holmes interactions were brilliant and hilarious and real. 'Twas a satisfactorily spent 8 dollars.
Thursday I made muffins. I don't know what came over me... I just started pulling all my nearly-empty bags of flour mixes out of the cupboard and mixing them together. I used four (maybe five) different flour mixes, plus a hot cereal mix, so my muffins probably contained a good 8 different grains and starches. Plus a little salt, brown sugar, xanthan gum, baking soda, molasses, agave nectar, almond milk, ground flax seed & water (instead of egg)... They were gluten-free, vegan muffins, completely off-the-cuff. Fortunately I've made muffins enough times to know the approximate general consistency of muffin batter, so I added enough water to match that, plus a little to offset the expected absorption by the hot cereal mix. The result? Wonderfully textured and moistured muffins, with a hearty flavor. They're actually really good. I'll never be able to duplicate them, but I am encouraged all the same - I can make muffins without a recipe! Little things...
Like going to bed before midnight the past two nights... And sleeping past 6am this morning. This whole sleep schedule thing is still screwed up, and my body is not pleased with my general lack of sound sleep. One bonus to my church's new service time is: I can sleep in Sunday morning! I just need to not stay up correspondingly late the night before. Alack and alas.
I find myself wanting to find some books on semiotics or linguistics to read; strike that, to study. It almost feels like I've got a bunch of puzzle pieces spread out before me, but it's an extraordinarily difficult puzzle, and there are a few rules that I don't know yet, a few key hints that have eluded me. I don't expect semantics or semiotics or philosophy or linguistic analysis or anything to just put all the pieces together for me, but I want to know more. Words fascinate me; how words go together to make language, to follow and form communication, catches my attention. I remember this coming up in literary criticism; I remember connecting it with philosophy. Attempts to explain where and how things came from are interesting to me. It's funny, I like philosophy not because I expect answers, but because I like how it contains pieces of answers, which, when connected with something else, make the picture of why and where and how a little more clear. I like process. I recognize it as both an underpinning reality and a formulative necessity. Things change, they develop, they shift and grow. Nothing here is static. There is a flow, but it's such a complicated flow that I can't just sit on my porch and trace it all out. I want to connect theoretical physics with language. They are related, I'm convinced of that; I just want to figure out how. Patterns. Patterns of chaos, chaos of patterns.
Sigh. I miss school. But recognize that our society's patterns have rendered it impossible to avoid the stultifying, wearying grind of work without already being in possession of vast quantities of money. I can't afford school. And work renders me less capable of thinking deeply or concertedly. It dulls me, tires me, makes me prefer escape or distraction to engagement and concentration. I wish it weren't like this, but it is.
I need to write more poetry.
1 comment:
i could relate to so much of this post. we need to hang out soon, i miss you.
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