"I'd rather be in the band."
Now I am! Out of the past 4 weeks, I've played at church 3 of them. It's been delightful! Each time, somehow, better than the last. Each set wonderful, each band fun, and I am surprised by the ease with which I slip into playing not as performance but as prayer.
And this last time, I was hidden behind the electric guitarist and a monitor, so I got to smile hugely and make funny faces at the baby in the front row grinning and giggling at me. Oh, joy!
We also had balloons to celebrate the church's 3 year anniversary. After, the electric guitarist handed me a bunch of them, saying, "these are for you, 'cause you played so well tonight." Actually, I think the word "awesome" was in there somewhere. (I'm no good at remembering exact dialogue...) And later, when I explained to the worship leader where I'd gotten the balloons, he said "you totally deserve them!" ::little happy dance while grinning broadly:: So now I have pretty blue and white balloons! The heat has de-floated them, but they're still big and beautiful.
It's odd, how, after so much time away, I get SO MUCH positive feedback from people! From the worship leaders, the other band members, random other people in the church. This is such a beautiful thing for me, who tends to be too hard on myself and assume non-appreciation. They'll probably never know how much their simple words mean to me - and they don't need to know - but wow, it just blows my mind. Delight.
And I painted my room last week; three walls are pale sunshine yellow, the other beautiful blue. It looks like deep water, like a portal into another world. Dawn Treader-esque. This is the first time I've ever been able to paint my own room, and it turned out better than I dreamed. Delight again!
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so, don't know whether you recall, but for a long time out here, nobody could ever hear the keys. occasionally I'd get a comment "I actually heard the piano today!" "Really?!" "Yeah, not very well, couldn't tell what it sounded like, but I could tell it was there!" Laughter...
sometimes I'd comment to the band, just to give them a hard time - "well, if they can't hear me out there, do I really need to be playing?" Matthew:"YES, Dawn, we still need you. I can hear you in my [earpiece, monitor], and I love what you're doing. Don't stop!" "You sure?"(with smirk on face) Matt: "Yes, we're just still working out the sound..."
well, a few years (and a new sound guy) later, you can actually hear me play... it is kind of nice to get affirmation from the listeners, (though as I'm sure you can imagine, I'm still not good at responding to compliments) but I think the crowning touch comes when we're all joking around about switching up all the instruments - so maybe Tony will play drums *snicker*, and we'll stick Matt on guitar *snicker*, and I'll jump in, "and you (add anyone's name) can play keys!" "HEH!"(snort of disbelief) "NO, Dawn, no." "No. You're too good at keys." "NO." and I laugh. And the next time they're joking about playing, err, "musical instruments", I'll say it again. Maybe I should start believing them...? Hooray for playing our prayers! ~D.
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