have you ever FELT love? i just did...

"do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God."

and "if you fear, it's because you're trying to do your own thing."

and wholehearted, passionate, submission... it's all or nothing... and it's hard.

i'm scared. i can still think of excuses. but i'm not satisfied with where i am now, and my desire for someone who loved me jealously and unremittingly and completely and perfectly would be fulfilled. i'm still scared of being loved. and scared of loving. i just don't know how.

but... i want what they have too. and i have never ever felt my existence so validated, by one simple action and one simple sentence.

my heart yearns for so much more