very random

first job interview tomorrow morning. hope it goes well.

found a bunch of books i've been looking for... decent libraries (and good ones) make me smile.

i don't sing much anymore. went to the beach today with dawn and jeanne joe; it was misty and cool and grey and the waves were beautiful. beaches are rather introspective. got me thinking. about singing, for some reason. and i don't sing anymore. i'm not in choir, but even apart from that, i used to sing for fun. but i don't now. it seems - or so i have decided - that i take no pleasure in singing. i do not enjoy hearing myself sing (i never really have...), so i don't sing to hear myself. and i have nobody to sing for. no reason to sing. i am surrounded by people whose voices i would much rather listen to. and singing no longer brings release. i think i dislike my voice too much for it to bring release. so i do not sing for myself. and there is no one else to sing for. so, i don't sing anymore. this makes me a little sad inside. i belong on a grey and misty beach with roaring waves and dimpled sand and cliffs and rough rocks, with birds screaming at each other. i should be walking alone this lonely beach, all alone.