random writings of my past...

got it! (frail, that is) yay.
it's still raining here. ach, such is life. but music makes things better.
something i found in one of my random journal-ish things:

i'm leaving for a place/ where topaz orbs glittering/ drop down
i'm headed to a time/ where lilac blooms heavily/ waft up
i'm fleeing to a land/ where great green arms listlessly/ wave by
lonely as a simple summer/ twilight on the/ long and twisted banks/ of a stream.

i'm not sure what year this was... i think it's from 2004. it's funny, i would write it differently now. but just above it was a phrase i still actually like: "add topaz to golden amber, that glorious lexicon of the divine fires smoldering bright". i'm not sure what exactly it means, but it sounds cool.

another thing i found (this from march of 2004): "death either gilds or burns. the good seems divine; the bad, diabolical." interesting. from what i've seen, this holds true. how often do we actually remember the humanness of those who have passed on? we remember wonderful or horrible things, but what about those everyday, normal things that truly defined the person?

here's something i wrote when i first visited boston, in june of 2004: "emerald green/ golden amber on fire/ tears of a phoenix/ smiles of the setting sun." i think i liked the phrase "golden amber." not sure why i mentioned a phoenix' tears. odd, how i feel like the phoenix is weeping now. and the sun is setting; but some perversity in its nature makes it smile as it falls. how often it is with humans! even as they choose to fall, choose to go down in fire, they insist on smiling, on pretending all is good and they're ok. this is why, i think, i've always be wary and mistrustful of people who are always happy.

interesting distinction between words: 'mistrustful' means to ''not trust' to any degree... to have doubts about motives,' while 'distrustful' means to completely regard with suspicion, ie, to have 'no faith' at all. slight difference, but cool! i love words!